How to Become Friends With a Guy (As a Woman)

How to Become Friends With a Guy (As a Woman)

Easy methods to Turn into Associates With a Man (As a Girl)

“I’d prefer to have shut associates who’re guys, however up to now, I’ve had guys minimize contact with me as soon as they realized I wasn’t romantically. How can I be a great buddy to a man with out main him on?”

Do you ever come throughout a man you barely know and get a sense that you might be nice associates? It’s tough sufficient to method folks and type new friendships with out the additional problem of attempting to method a person as a lady with out main him on.

Study: Easy methods to make male associates as a feminine

Some folks will go so far as to say that women and men can’t be associates, however that’s not universally true in any respect. Whereas sexual or romantic attraction might be an impediment in some male-female friendships, it’s completely attainable to seek out shut associates who’re males or perhaps a male greatest buddy.

1. Discover frequent pursuits

The simplest method to make new associates of both intercourse is thru shared pursuits. Contemplate becoming a member of a weekly exercise you’ll be able to meet folks by way of, like a Dungeons and Dragons group, a language class, or volunteering.

Now we have a listing of 25 social pastime concepts that may aid you meet new folks. Attempt to choose actions which might be prone to have a mixture of women and men, however be sure to’re selecting one thing that you simply’re truly considering. There’s no use in going to a board recreation evening simply to satisfy folks should you gained’t be having fun with your self.

If you recognize somebody you assume it’s possible you’ll need to be associates with, ask them about their hobbies or pursuits. Don’t fake you share the identical hobbies should you don’t. Categorical an curiosity in studying in case you are open to attempting new issues.

Associated: Easy methods to discover issues in frequent with somebody.

2. Present that you’re open to creating new associates

One of the best ways to make associates is to be pleasant and open to everybody round you, not simply the one individual you need to get nearer to. You possibly can discover ways to be extra approachable and appear extra pleasant if that is one thing that you simply battle with.

3. Search for males who deal with girls with respect

You’re extra doubtless to have the ability to type an in depth, long-lasting friendship with guys who already produce other feminine associates, or not less than converse respectfully about different girls.

In the event you obtain compliments akin to “you’re not like different girls,” this can be a warning signal that they don’t assume so extremely of girls usually and that if you find yourself disappointing them (by rejecting them, for instance), they could really feel the identical about you.

On the similar time, don’t gossip or put down different males or girls round them. You aren’t attempting to compete with different girls. You don’t need them to really feel such as you’re evaluating them to different males, both. Notably keep away from saying issues like, “I want I had a boyfriend such as you.”

4. Do issues collectively

Whereas girls usually meet “simply to catch up and discuss,” males have a tendency to construct their friendships by way of mutual actions. Via engaged on a shared purpose, whether or not it’s climbing, constructing one thing collectively, or enjoying video video games, males are likely to have extra of a “why” to satisfy up.[1]

Recommend actions like going out to play pool or doing a undertaking collectively. While you’re to start with phases of attending to know one another, make it sound informal in order that your new buddy will perceive it’s not a date. Recommend which you could each deliver different associates alongside. Over textual content, don’t use too many emoticons, as some folks might learn that as flirty.

You possibly can ship a message like, “I’m pondering of trying out the brand new meals market. I invited my associates Anna and Joe, however I’m unsure in the event that they’re coming but. You might be welcome to return alongside and produce anybody you need as properly.”

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Humor may assist you might have enjoyable collectively and bond. Learn our tips about the best way to be humorous in a dialog.

5. Take your time to construct the friendship

If you wish to be sure to don’t lead somebody on and provides them the impression that you simply’re romantically, it’s greatest to keep away from spending an excessive amount of time collectively within the early phases.

For instance, hanging out a number of evenings every week may give the impression that you’re eager to attach deeply as rapidly as attainable and might be mistaken for romantic curiosity. Assembly up a couple of times per week could be extra acceptable.

6. Keep away from sending alerts of romantic curiosity

Being simply associates could also be simpler if considered one of you is in a relationship or isn’t drawn to the alternative intercourse. In any other case, the potential for a romantic relationship might dangle over your friendship, even should you aren’t doing something to guide him on.

Many males are taught that they must pursue girls. As a result of they assume girls gained’t allow them to know when they’re , they are going to be in search of indicators {that a} girl is considering them. It’s a good suggestion to guarantee that your conduct is persistently platonic and to guarantee that your phrases (e.g., “I’m simply in search of associates”) match your actions.

To make it clear you wish to keep associates if you’re a heterosexual or bisexual girl befriending a heterosexual or bisexual man:

  • Keep away from complaining about your associate should you’re in a relationship. Your buddy might get the impression that you’re in search of a brand new boyfriend. In the event you discuss your associate, hold your tone mild and optimistic, or not less than keep away from criticizing them.
  • If you’re single and in search of a associate, don’t inform your buddy that you simply’d like to satisfy a person like him as a result of he might take this as an indication that you’re considering him even should you simply imply it as a praise.
  • In case your buddy is single and you’ve got a single buddy who could possibly be a great match for him, supply to introduce them to 1 one other.
  • In case your buddy has a associate, ask to satisfy them. You don’t all must be nice associates, however should you present a honest curiosity of their associate and make an effort to hit it off with them, you’ll make it clear that you simply aren’t attempting to show your friendship right into a relationship.
  • Keep away from “couple” actions together with your buddy, akin to quiet dinners in romantic eating places, and take a look at mixing group outings with one-on-one time collectively.
  • Don’t contact them any extra steadily than you’d contact any of your feminine associates.
  • Keep away from extreme texting. Attempt to textual content solely if you wish to counsel assembly up or if in case you have one thing particular to say. Keep away from speaking or texting for lengthy durations of time late at evening, as this will really feel extra intimate than speaking through the day.

7. Restrict bodily contact till you recognize them properly

It’s possible you’ll be used to hugging your feminine associates if you see them, however some males aren’t as snug with bodily contact. Wait to get to know your male associates earlier than initiating bodily contact. It’s additionally sensible to carry again on bodily contact till you’ve established a platonic friendship as a result of some males might interpret contact as an indication of romantic curiosity.

See how they greet different folks. Some folks, male or feminine, aren’t snug with hugging as a greeting, for instance. Nonetheless, after changing into shut associates, there’s no motive to keep away from bodily contact should you’re each snug with it.

8. Know that considered one of it’s possible you’ll develop a crush

When you might have friendships with folks of the gender you’re sometimes drawn to, generally crushes occur. This may occur even in case you are cautious to not give any indicators you have an interest romantically. If a person finds a lady they will discuss to, who shares their curiosity, and that they’re drawn to, he might develop romantic emotions.

It’s possible you’ll develop a crush in your man buddy and be disillusioned that he’s not drawn to you in that approach. Or maybe you discover out that they’ve a crush on you, and you are feeling damage in the event that they attempt to hit on you or grow to be distant as a approach of dealing with their emotions.

In case your buddy has a crush on you, however you don’t return his curiosity, it’s possible you’ll must have a frank dialog and inform him you aren’t considering a romantic relationship. Our guides on the best way to inform if a man likes you and being trustworthy with associates could also be useful.

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Keep in mind that if somebody is uncomfortable being shut associates with you since you’re a lady and so they discover you enticing, it doesn’t imply something destructive about you. Some persons are snug being associates with somebody they’ve some attraction to. Others discover it tougher.

9. Deal with each man as a singular particular person

Keep in mind that the ideas included on this article are generalizations. Don’t assume that somebody ought to like sure issues, or act in a selected approach, simply due to their gender.

For instance, some males aren’t snug speaking about feelings, however some have deep conversations with their female and male associates. Likewise, some males have hobbies which might be thought of historically female, like cross-stitch, stitching, baking, or dancing.

Whereas it’s vital to bear in mind how women and men are introduced up in another way and the way that may affect the best way we really feel, assume, and act, it’s good to keep in mind that we’re all people, and there may be a lot extra to our id than being a person or a lady.

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Studying the best way to get a man to be your buddy is just not a lot totally different than studying the best way to method folks and make associates usually. Accepting folks as they’re and taking time to grasp their perspective is the easiest way to grow to be shut with them, no matter their gender.

Why making associates with males might get simpler over time

In the event you’re in your early 20s, know that it’ll in all probability grow to be simpler to be associates with males in a couple of years. As time passes, extra males will begin severe relationships, so they could be much less prone to see a lady who desires to spend time with them as a possible girlfriend.

And as you become old, you’ll meet extra males in varied locations: by way of work, hobbies, associates of associates, companions of associates, and so forth. You’ll get higher at recognizing who desires to be your buddy as a result of they genuinely need to be your buddy and who desires to be your buddy within the hopes that it’ll flip into one thing extra.

Associated: Easy methods to make new associates.

Widespread questions on being associates with males

What do you discuss with male associates?

You possibly can discuss to your male associates about virtually something, akin to work, hobbies, favourite motion pictures, reveals, or video games. Some males might really feel uncomfortable speaking about their feelings, intercourse, or private relationships, however some love having feminine associates to speak to about these points.

Present references +


  1. Winstead, B. A. (1986). Intercourse Variations in Identical-Intercourse Friendships. Friendship and Social Interplay, 81-99.

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